Dear Imagination Movers,
How've you been? Things are good here. It's been a little colder than normal for this time of year, but for the most part I enjoy it. How's the weather where you are? Good I hope.
Look, let me get to the point. As I'm sure you're aware, I've talked a lot of trash about you. I don't think I ever blogged about you, but I'm certain that I told my wife how annoying I thought you were, and I told my friend Bryan that you sucked and that I'd rather listen to The Wiggles. Mover Scott, you in particular have found yourself at the business end of my insult cannon more than once. After all, I did say that you looked like Penn Jillette's nerdy son (seriously though, the resemblance is uncanny), and I think I once suggested you should go have improper relations with yourself.
I hope you'll forgive me, for these things were all said before your show debuted on Playhouse Disney. You see, now that I've had some time to get more acquainted with you, I've actually grown quite fond. Some of those songs are downright catchy, and your show, with its Monkees-like hijinks, is a welcome addition to the oversimplified cartoon world I get subjected to each morning. Mover Scott, I'm sorry I said you looked like you got kicked out of Hootie and the Blowfish for having stupid chin hair. It turns out you're probably the best one on the show, except for maybe that cutie Nina. What's her story, anyway? Why's she hanging around with four dudes all the time? That's a recipe for disaster, guys. Let me tell you, nothing can split up a band faster than having one cute girl hanging around all the time.
Don't get rid of her! That's not what I'm saying. I just think maybe you should have 2 or 3 more cute girls come hang out sometimes. I'd just hate to see Mover Smitty end up getting hurt when he falls in love with her and she chooses Mover Rich instead.
Finally, if you'll allow me one indulgence, I'd like to make a suggestion. You guys have all those wacky rooms in the Idea Warehouse, right? What if you had a Nacho Room, where a liquid cheese fountain was the centerpiece, and you could build your own nacho platter? Just an idea!
Anyway, I hope you will forgive me for my disrespectful past, and that we can just put it all behind us.
Sincerely,
dadrock
p.s. I don't mean to rock the boat now that we've gotten things smoothed out, but seriously, that "Numbers in my Bag" is the worst crap ever. You might want to drop that one.
p.p.s. Sorry, but as I was typing out the previos post-script it occurred to me that someone also needed to point out to you that the "Seven Days a Week" song is a ripoff of the theme for "Go Diego Go" so you might want to drop it too.
